Last Night's Insane Asheville Posse

I’m sitting here in study hall again. I guess I’ve been promoted, so I get to cover it on Tuesdays now also. Too bad my $47 a month paycheck (after taxes) didn’t feel the boost. It was fairly comical when I got my W-2 actually. A friend told me that you don’t have to claim income less than $500 on your taxes. It’s funny that I didn’t have to claim my income from a full-time job…

Anyway, I’m drinking coffee at 5:30 at night because I can’t keep my eyes open in this place. I owe that to my gallivanting around Asheville on the “snow day” until 1 AM. Despite the repercussions of this life choice at 8 AM, there were a few noteworthy moments from last night that I thought I’d share J

I’ll start with the strangest moment, a very good place to start (a lil’ Sound of Music flava there). This moment occurred at the conclusion of the evening’s adventures when Talia and I met our yellow cab on the Mellow Mushroom corner. His name was Kevin. That is how flowery love stories start, but this is not a flowery love story at all, because I would find it very difficult to fall in love with a man with horns. Yes, that is what I had said. HORNS. I noticed these horns immediately sticking out of the top of Kevin’s hat, and naturally, I commented on them without hesitation. I tried to be discreet about it, though, so I said, “Are those horns?!” Kevin smiled and acknowledged that the silver sharpened accessories were, in fact, horns. I think I asked him why he had horns, and he just sort of shrugged. If I were him, I would have responded that I thought horns would provide a nice addition to my 3 inch thumb nails, Insane Clown Posse T-Shirt, and red chest length goatee. But, Kevin must not have thought they all went together. Nice guy Kevin was. He doesn’t have a girlfriend though.

Then there was Erica… a real gem. Erica probably doesn’t remember me or Talia but she has our phone numbers in her cell, so it should make for a humorous, confusing moment at some point. Erica is a nurse by trade. Last night, though, she was a drunk and angry girlfriend who made the absolute most out of her frustration by living it up at Bier Garden. She eventually called her boyfriend to take her home, and so Rod (his actual name is Brad, but due to Erica’s slur, the initial introduction was a bit distorted) showed up and sat patiently next to her while she ordered rounds of shots for her new found friends. We bonded over YouTube videos, Erica’s reported suckage at basketball, and a Quesadilla. Rod was a real champ through two lemon drops and tequila. He even thought that the name Rod sounded cooler than Brad, and when he repeated it to himself a few times and pumped his fist, I began to question his manhood. It was after the fist pumping that I realized why we shouldn’t worry about large bar tabs…Erica and Rod left holding hands.

Finally, there was our evening ending event. Chasing Jorge. In contrast to “His name was Kevin,” Chasing Jorge sounds like a cheesy thriller about a druglord near the Mexico border. This is almost what happened. Jorge is Talia’s cat that we lost in the sunroom and found behind the refrigerator hissing. Overwhelming similarities, I know.

The screen just got blurry because my eyes closed. Study hall nap time…maybe I’ll dream of chasing a falsely named man with horns…it really doesn’t seem that strange of an idea after last night. Good times and a well-deserved toast to Kevin, Erica, Rod, and Jorge...last night's Insane Asheville Posse.