I got the idea to write this blog randomly on our road trip to Charleston/Myrtle Beach after playing Trouble with one of our other assistant coaches and her 5 year old son, so here goes :)
Trouble – I was pissed because I was blue and I wanted to be green, but I would have looked like an ass if I beasted the 5-year old for his green pegs, so I graciously accepted blue. I taught the kid to sing Ray Lamontagne “Trouble Trouble Trouble Trouble” during the game every time we sent somebody back to homebase. He thought it was great – I was happy to pass along Ray’s music to a young ear. I came in 3rd place out of 3, was not pleased, and then tried to think about what I learned.
In a nutshell, Trouble teaches you that if you land on top of somebody, you win. And, since immigration is an ongoing and important issue, Trouble ensures that you know that if you keep sending people back to where they come from, you will continue to stay ahead of them.
Hungry Hippos – this game probably has the easiest lesson of any of the kid’s game. It’s a very American game. Put quite simply, If there is limited food, aggressively go after it – the more you eat, the better chance you have of winning.
Chutes and Ladders – It’s difficult for me to comment on what exactly this game teaches, seeing as my parents bought me the bootleg version of the game called “Snakes and Ladders.” When I asked my friend for an idea of what Snakes and Ladders teaches kids, she looked at me like I was ridiculous. It reminded me of the time I got chastised for not knowing what FunFetti was the first week of grad school…my parents really dropped the ball apparently.
Yahtzee – This game is simple….TAKE CHANCES. 4 of a kind is better than 3 of a kind, so if you’re looking for a Mean Girls crew, pull in as many bitches as possible. And lastly, a Full House is good, so make lots of babies.
Sorry – Seeing as the only thing I remember about Sorry is the name of the game, I’m guessing that it teaches you that this is an important word, fo rizzle. It makes me wonder right now how many times we’ve said “Sorry.” This reminds me of our head coach’s comment following the National Anthem in our last game…she said in the huddle, “Do you ever wonder how many times you’ve heard the National Anthem?” I wanted to respond, “Do you ever wonder why we lose so much…perhaps because you ask questions like that in the huddle 1 minute before gametime.” I refrained to avoid losing my nonpaying job.
Candyland – According to Talia, this game teaches you to hang out with fairies….hmmmm.
Life – I used to play this one with my older brother at my Nan and Papa’s as a kid. It was one of my favorites actually. My Nan gave me a picture of Brett and I playing it by the pool…I had my shirt off, so I’m sure Brett was pissed at me, which probably motivated me to speed through life in my sickening plastic car. Looking back, I think the game of Life is just like the cliché life…we should all want to become doctors and make several hundred thousand dollars a year. I guess it taught me to dream big? Nah, stupid game – no good lessons. I’m gonna make a new game: “Life 2” (original I know)…your job options will be Real Housewife of Atlanta or Unemployed…I feel like the average person that would play a board game has a better chance of being one of those two things than a doctor.
Operation – Loud noises are annoying. The End.
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